a couple had 3 kids named
SOMEBODY, NOBODY and CRAZY.
NOBODY was the favorite,
SOMEBODY was jealous.
so he killed NOBODY.
... CRAZY saw what hapend, he called the cops and said :
" hello police, SOMEBODY killed NOBODY "the police asked,
" are you crazy? "
he said:
" yes im crazy !"
Biker: what are u doing?
Girl: committing suicide
Biker: well before u die i wish to i kiss you
Girl : ok
(after kissing)
biker : Wow that was the best kiss in my life...but why are you committing suicide?
Girl : because my parents don't like me dressing like a girl
when I have a problem I just sing and then realize that my voice is worse than my problem
FROG: what does my future hold?
FAIRY: you'll meet someone who wants to know everything about you.
FROG: great! Will I meet her in a party?
FAIRY: no. in biology class
A boss confused about his Math asked his secretary:
If I give you P3M less 17%, how much would you take off?
SECRETARY: everything sir! Dress, bra, panty!
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could.
The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim. Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, th...e hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some 'religion'!" The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused.
Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive....
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